I have been staring at my notepad at this time of hour for a couple of months now. I just stare at it and listening at some random music on my playlist. Like right know it now playing know the music “The Scene Aesthetic - Walk this Town”. As this music plays my mind keep on remembering stuff that both happy/sad memory but mostly happy memories. Hahahah Now it’s playing “Anberlin - Inevitable” I remember my cousin 18th birthday. I met this girl at the party she was a childhood friend of my cousin or something. We’re the only two people that are still drinking, we talk about “who’s your favorite band” we’re like ANBERLIN, and were like wooow and we both laugh then I ask what your favorite song of anberlin and she said this song. All I can say is that somebody vomited alot. Remembering that night she suggested this a local band that I absolutely love. I’m listing to one of their song right know “Angulo - Salita”. Funny thing I was supposed to post a one liner “I want to get something out of my chest but my heart seems to think the other way” and I end up with this.. 

There this feeling for weeks that I can’t just shake off. It’s like a big storm has been forming above my head for week. I don’t know when the rain will start pouring down but I know it’s soon. I keep on analyzing it for days now what could it be but nothing seem to pop out. I thought at first that it’s connected with my health but I feel fine. I hope whatever and whoever will that cloud be it will be just a drizzle of rain. 

(Source: denity)

Our lunch at Pino Kitchen Studio, just because it’s wednesday :))

In just one phone call my world that was steady for a while, just begun to shake and tears falling roll down my face. I really never thought that it was that a serious of a condition and it will never go to this point this so early. Death is such a fucker and gets you when least expects it and who ever around it. I should have made time just to visit you. 

You have been a great godmother and one of the nicest people I ever met in my life. You will always be one of my favorite people in my life and I will always remember you. I’m sorry for not visiting you while you’re still alive and that I will regret for the rest of my life. You’ll will never be forgotten Ninang Carmen. Thank you very much and I love you!

And I’ll never forget that.

(Source: denity)

Me and my fellow ojt Erika with Chef Boy Logro after helping with the prep in “Kusina Master” taping. (para akong nakadrugs dito hahaha)

hahaha akalain mo yon na daryo ako maski extra lang hahaha =))

I really hate when I make people cry :’(

I getting sick with all the fabrication and cooking of meat and fish. I have been doing the same things for a month already. I want to cut some veg for a change. If I have to do this for a whole year I will probably end up being a vegan(yeah right) hahaha :))

  • Beef Broccoli with Asian Fried Brown Rice
  • Haru-maki Wrap with Sweet Chili Sauce
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  • Poached Salmon with Steamed Vegetables and Pilaf Brown Rice
  •  Cajun Fish Fillet with Mango Salsa and Brown Rice Jambalaya
  •  Chicken Sate with Pickled Shiitake and Brown Rice
hahaha somehow I’m a little proud of myself because I did all the meat fabrication and cooking for all these meal expect for the haru-maki. My fellow OJT did the rest, down to the cutting of vegs, making the sauces, wrapping the haru-maki, deboning of tinapa(the most fucking hardest thing to do of all hahaha) and the almost 4hour of packaging. All the hours that sacrifice was worth it. Thank you also to Chef Aldrich for teaching and believing us to be better. 

15kg of meat that I have to fabricate. Just thinking about it, makes me want to call sick tomorrow. I’m feeling that I going to cut myself again tomorrow. Since I started I cut my self 4 times already. Even thought I dont get to sleep and eat right for the next two month or even for the next year or so. Even if I get cut a piece of my finger in the process hopefully it didn’t get to that point haha. I dont mind it that much because I love what I’m doing. The piece of mind that I get when doing such things is priceless.

Yan yung sinabi ng taga rustan’s na nag-observe samin magluto para sa kanilang gourmet healthy microwavable meal or something. Doon ko lang naexperience yung sobrang nawalang ka ng gana kumain dahil sa sobrang pagod or gusto mo sana kumain pero wag nalang tatapusin ko muna tong gagawin ko para lang matapos na. Sobrang hirap ng ginawa namin 12+hours para lang sa OJT tapos walang bayad, napapakamot ako palagi nagnaiisip kong walng bayad, pero walang magagawa kailangan magOJT. Dalawang araw na akong 12hour pumapasok, tpos dalawang sunod na araw na 5:30 ng madaling araw parang lang pumasok. Isipin mo gigising akong 4:00am para lang makapasok, papauwin kami ng 7pm tapos para kami din kaming walang break ang break lang namin kain ng 5min then yosi. Yun rin pala dahil sa sobrang stress napabalik ako sa paninigarilyo. Mamaya nanaman gising ulit ng 4:00am. Magsunday na para tulog ako buong araw.

  • Woke up around 1am
  • Finish watching s6 of Dexter and the finale Ohh god!! 
  • Between 7am-1pm: I basically played some lol and watched some viral video from youtube.
  • When I was just go to sleep. My freaking school just called and told me that I have an interview for my OJT venue at 2pm. I was like so piss of with that person who coordinator for the OJT because yesterday they told me that I will be having my interview on dec 12. After that ***** told me that my interview was today at 2pm. I was in fast forward mode I even forgot to bring my medicine. It really was a good thing that the venue wasn’t that far from my house it was like a 30min cab ride. Good thing I made it just in time. I thought I was the only person going to be interview that afternoon, but all of the sudden some familiar faces showed up well not that familiar I just recognize there faces from school they are from the morning class.
  • Our interview went well so far just about when our interview was about to end the executive chef arrive. So he just practically orient us what will be doing this 2 1/2 month with them. Then out of nowhere he ordered us to start today, then me and fellow school mate shared look as if we are telling each other. What did we get our self into, Then after 8hour of unexpected duty we finally finish cooking some of the menu for some resort at bora the menu was basically filipino fusion. Some of the food  that we prepared are chorizo and tinapa pizza, sisig pizza, lamb caldereta, mango salsa, adobo something, chessy bisket, tufo croquette, sisig nacho(jalapeno, black olive, lettuce, mango salsa, cheese sause) and sirloin steak.

to tired to type must go to sleep.